Quite a few people here at SingleHop are into videogames and a constant argument is what the best video game ever made. While sleeping last night I had dreams of dysentery and fording rivers and it came to me: Oregon Trail is the best game ever.

What other game is there that you can learn history and hunt buffalo while enjoying a great gaming session I ask? There are none. Number Cruncher or perhaps Castle of Dr. Brain could be a close second to the best game ever but the absolute best game ever is Oregon Trail.

For those who are not “in-the-know” Oregon Trail is a videogame first published by MECC in 1985 for the Apple II. Many of the people here at SingleHop grew up playing this game when recess was rained out in elementary school and we got unfettered access to the Apple IIs and would spend the next 45 minutes playing the most amazing game ever.

With high resolution graphics you really felt you were on the great plains of Middle-America hunting pixel-perfect buffalo and with a herd of trusty Oxen to lead you nothing could go wrong. That’s what everyone thinks in the beginning but once you get out past Independence Rock you realize you aren’t in America anymore but the great Wild West. Your party would start developing sicknesses such as dysentery, cholera, measles, typhoid or breaking arms and legs and slowly they would die one by one. The last time I picked up this game was in recess back in 2^nd grade. My daughter Paula contracted cholera I thought that my world was going to end. Nothing amounted to the distress I felt. Not even when Aerith dies in Final Fantasy VII which many people consider being the most emotional scene in any video game to date. I had to put Oregon Trail down for a week after this traumatic event only to find 10 miles down the road a patch of wild fruit was on the side of the road. These must have been magic glitter berries because instantly Paula was cured! Sadly though my son Billy had contracted measles from exhaustion and he died 15 miles later. A tombstone was made in his honor that read “Almost as cool as Paula” and I continued my trek towards Oregon City.

Things were going great until I reached Snake River Crossing. Having no money I decided to ford the river which was the worst idea I ever had. My wagon broke and all was lost. I lost my wife Patty, 4 oxen, all my food and all my wagon tongues. I created a tombstone for Patty which read “A little cooler than Billy” and decided it was time to try to get some wagon tongues to repair it. Being stuck past the river and no town in sight I had to trade with the natives who were less-than-happy to deal with me. All they wanted was food and they wouldn’t believe me that I had no food with me. To the fields I went and hunted some high-resolution buffalo and replenished my food supply. Once I returned to trade with the natives they scorned me and told me then they wanted clothing which was a great relief. I had tons of clothes to give away and soon my wagon was repaired and I was back on the trail.

Along the way to Fort Boise the worst thingever happened. Paula got the measles. I knew this was the end for Paula because nobody survives the measles. I tried everything within my power to save Paula including bumping our pace to steady and taking it easy for Paula. Around 30 miles down the trail we hit a storm and all was lost. Paula passed in the night and I cried myself to sleep after school. I marked her tombstone “And then there was one” saved my game and quit for the day. The next recess I picked up again and was determined to make it to Oregon City. Things couldn’t have gone smoother. I made it to Fort Boise and restocked on all my necessary supplies. I headed onwards to the Blue Mountains and contracted cholera myself. I rested for a few days and soon I was cured of my disease and resumed my trek. I made it to the Blue Mountains and was soon given an option: I could pay for the ferry to get to Oregon City or I could put my wagon on a raft and float down the Columbia River. For those of you who haven’t played Oregon Trail, Columbia River is the best sequence ever. You float down a river full of rapids, rocks and logs trying to avoid everything so you can make it to Oregon City. With luck on my side this recess I made safe passage through Columbia River!

Seconds later I was greeted with happy music and my screen stated I had made it to Oregon City! I jumped for joy and my teacher yelled at me. I then reminisced on the perilous journey and remembered all the loved ones I had lost. My wife Patty, my son Billy and my daughter Paula could not see this brave new land I had arrived to. I was a stranger in a strange land with no one to share my soon-to-come wealth with. The emotions this game brought out in me I have never felt in any other game to this day. When the flood were released in Halo I was mildly upset but later on you save the day. My family was gone! Nothing is more important than family. No other game to this date robs you of your loved ones and puts you through such trauma. This is why Oregon Trail is the best game ever made.

-Sam